Wednesday, 11/1/17, was a long day. My 2 year survival party came to a halt on the 21st floor of the Northwestern Medical Center. My MRI showed the prior resection cavity remained stable, but a new mass anterior to this in my left frontal lobe continued to grow. It was growing slowly enough that it fell within the parameters of scar / inflammation / necrosis on the last few MRIs. Not anymore.
Damn.
My nurse practitioner, Meg Schwartz, called me about this ‘ditzel’ on June 30, but we were not really sure what to make of it. It grew minimally through July and August. For the last 9 weeks, it progressed to an extent that it could not be written off as inflammation anymore.
Let me introduce a new character to the blog, and the star for Team Craig on 11/13/17: Matthew Tate, MD, PhD. He is a neurosurgeon at Northwestern. Shawn Hervey-Jumper, the neurosurgeon that performed my first resection, left the midwest for University of California at San Francisco. As much as I love Dr. Jumper, UCSF is just not practical for surgery. Dr. Jumper recommended Dr. Tate. Since I had been going to Northwestern every 3 weeks for 2 years, I developed a certain comfort at that institution. We knew where to park, the best food spots, and the Starbucks locations (everywhere, but on the first floor).
The growth is small, and according to Dr. Tate, not in a very ‘important area.’ He also mentioned my prior surgery was in a ‘very delicate area’ and more challenging. A biopsy was considered, but he felt like it just made more sense to do a maximal resection since a few biopsies would basically take half the mass. Fair enough. This surgery will not be an awake craniotomy since it is not close to motor cortex (not close to anything that could be really tested while awake).
We arrived home and mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. Staci told me I had to ‘get it together’ for the kids. I mean, football players usually have 24 hours to get over a loss or celebrate a win, but I only get six? The kids have seen us come home so many times with good news, it was becoming routine.
Connor: (without glancing up from YouTube videos) “Did you pass your test?”
Me: Silence. Watching the YouTube video.
That got his attention.
Connor: (looking at me) “What’s wrong? Did you pass?”
If only MRIs were something you could prepare for, and either pass or fail. I would take Honors MRI. I walked out of the room to ‘get it together,’ and then came back to tell him we may have a chance to go to an MSU basketball practice, but this did not distract him.
Me: “Well, it has grown. I need a repeat resection. But the surgeon said it was pretty easy technically to remove, and not in an important area.”
Connor: “It’s your brain!”
Thank you. Tell that to Dr. Tate!
After we told Queen Elizabeth, she nodded, and asked, “what do you answer if you are not sure between yes or no?”
I did not know, but it sounded helpful.
“Yo. It is yes plus no.”
And then I went out on the trampoline with the kids. I find it easier to talk to kids in a less formal setting with a distracting activity. You can talk about things in bits and pieces. So we all jumped, careful not to bounce Mia too high (she sticks to the corner and does these little ‘butt bounces’) while trying to send Ella and Connor flying.
Figure: Upper left, lazy girls being dragged around the house. Upper middle, you can now follow Northwestern Neurosurgery on all social medial platforms. So reassuring that they are on Instagram and Twitter, not just Facebook. They must be the real deal. Upper right, Connor made a special “Day of the Dead” mask in Spanish. I don’t know what to say. Lower left, fans of the EGR High School girls swim team (Allison was walking the finalists out). Lower right, Connor and I watching MSU surprisingly beat PSU. I certainly have reservations about football, but it makes for great television.
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I went to my own clinic the next two days, avoiding thinking about it too much. I had my scheduler remove my new patients for that day. I didn’t think I could focus on a new problem. At lunch, I had a chance to sneak out to D+W on Knapp for a quick bite with my section chief and colleague Jeff Decker. We bumped into my running hero Dathan Ritzenhein in the line at Starbucks. Among other running accomplishments, he won the 2017 River Bank Run.
Me: “Dathan Ritzenhein?”
Dathan: “Yes?”
Me: “Hey. Wow. This is my partner, Jeff. Jeff, Dathan still holds the high school cross country state record, and is the best runner ever from the state of Michigan.”
Misunderstanding ‘partner’ in 2017, Dathan asked, “Where do you guys live?”
“Oh, no. Um. I live in East Grand Rapids and Jeff lives in Ada.”
Anyway, maybe it is time to sign up for River Bank 2018, but no online sign up available, yet. GIddyup, River Bank 2018!
After work, I finally headed up to Nurse Jane’s desk on the third floor just for a hug and a cry since I was keeping my cool all day. Big sister Jane. She said I needed to remain positive, but that was tough on that day. I was still in my mourning period. I returned a week later to prove I was okay.
After a few days of feeling sorry for myself and shell shocked, I started to accept my new reality. I became that crazy runner at MVP Sportsplex going all out on a treadmill, up to 12.5 mph for a minute or so (which was exactly Dathan Ritzenhein’s pace for full 25K in 2017!). Those treadmill sprinters must have problems, but it feels great. I swam the next morning, cutting time off the suggested intervals at EGRA Masters. I did not have time to wait around for intervals suggested by Coach Josh.
My last day of work prior to surgery was 11/8/17 in the testing center at Spectrum Meijer Heart Center. Nurse Cindy organized a potluck (no occasion is too small for a potluck in the hospital). This time, it was all vegetarian in honor of my last day. I received well wishes and good byes from many people. Finally, it was just me and Mike McNamara in the reading room finishing up at 6:30 PM. I wanted to get a selfie with him in the reading room, but when we were getting together, I just lost it. I hugged him for a while, balling my eyes out for no particular reason except everything, and he kissed my cheek in the most masculine, heterosexual, guy to guy way possible. I got that selfie after getting control of my emotions and walked out of Spectrum Hospital with him, hopefully not the last time as a cardiologist.
Upper left, Two runners just hanging out, talking about the River Bank race. I actually told Dathan my best time in the 25k for some reason. Upper right, the start of my last day with Nurse Cindy and ‘partner’ Jeff Decker. Middle right, wrapping up my last day with Mike McNamara after I gathered myself. Lower right, my personal stress test. Bottom, waiting for the anesthesiologist decide whether I am healthy enough to have my only problem removed.
I knew this story had a few more chapters. The last several blogs were all character development like those middle episodes in a Netflix series. Just filler. This protagonist apparently needs to another mountain to climb.
It feels like a cycle. It is cold and cloudy here in Michigan in early November, just like 2 years ago. Trout Steak Revival just released a new album (don’t wait for Rick McNamara to give it to you cheapskate doctors, go buy it!). I am in better shape than 2 years ago when I had my first surgery, training regularly and eating as healthy as possible. Staci practically has me on a whole food plant based diet with the exception of pizza weekly and local beer nightly. I hope it helps. I would celebrate another two years of this.
Praying for you “nephew”, God is in control!! Phil 4:13🙏🙏🙏🙏
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Hi Craig, I don’t know what to say except that I am so sad that you have to go through this all over again when everything was going so well. Thanks for your blog that gives us a window into what you are thinking and facing. I love the pictures of your beautiful family too. I’m praying and hoping for the best for you. The saying “it couldn’t happen to a nicer person”, keeps coming to mind. Which then makes me mad that someone so smart and so funny and so kind and so needed and loved by your family and your patients and all of your friends has to even think for a moment about brain cancer. I know you will fight through this like you did before. Stay strong and know that many many people are pulling for you and praying for you.
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Prayers for you and your family.
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Will be rooting for you, neurosurgeon, Northwestern and many many more years as husband, father, cardiologist, athlete and friend on Monday! I see you and Staci getting gray together, seeing kids married and watching grandkids swim meets! I am in awe of your grace and style but then I was in medical school and residency too!
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Blessings and prayers as you start a new fight.
Love and hugs,
Ron and Carolyn McCrea Miller
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Your prayer warriors are still here and with you all the way! I know this blog must have been difficult to write but I am sure everyone appreciates your brutal honesty. God has a plan. Trust in the plan. You are the healthiest person with a little blip in the radar. You got this. It is ok to be scared but know you are not alone ever. You are surrounded with a great family, friends and team of providers of care. Extra prayers sent to you and family.
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The Watson family members have shared your amazing story with many others. Your courage and stamina are legendary. Our prayers for you, your family and your doctors continue. Craig Watson will be in Chicago working while you are in the hospital. He hopes to talk with your folks. Love from across the country.
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I am sad to hear of this setback. I know you will continue to fight and prevail against this GBM monster. You have an extensive support network and a great attitude to carry you past this hurtle and any future setbacks.
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Dr Alguire,
I have followed your story since you are in my “area” (cath lab P/R nurse) and love your articulation/sharing of your very personal story. You are definitely in my prayers starting right now! Your real, raw emotions of your situation makes everyone want to give you huge hugs to both you and Staci and your kids…consider it done via the internet. Praying God sustains you and your precious family for such a time is this…God Bless, Kiya
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Craig, You may remember that my family went through the same roller coaster of emotions with my fathers brain cancer. I was 11 when it started and as the oldest son, I witnessed more than my brothers and sisters, while I supported my mother. I remember it all. So, I have a reason to say that you are doing all the right things. And, that’s all that can be expected of you. I have been so impressed with Craig Alguire since first meeting him as he jumped from treadmill to treadmill sprinting as fast as he could. Remember that at MVP? Always the nicest person every time I have talked with you since then. I assumed awhile back that your role is to show people what is possible and in a classy way. While what you are about to go through is serious, I really believe you will be successful once again. Keep being Craig Alguire and I will continue to pray for you and your family.
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😊. I️ remember that day.
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Always praying for you and your whole family! Yes, we are all with you Craig!!
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Oh, Craig. I’m so sorry to hear about this “ditzel” in your road to health. I know that if anyone can jump over this hurdle it’s you, with your strength, endurance, love, knowledge, compassion, determination, wit and wisdom. Sending all my love, prayers and healthy wishes to you and Stacy and your whole family.
“Mi-she-bey-rak” (Jewish prayer of healing) … May the One who was a source of blessing for our ancestors, bring blessings of healing upon Craig Alguire, a healing of body and a healing of spirit. May those in whose care he is entrusted, be gifted with wisdom and skill, and those who surround him, be gifted with love and trust, openness and support in his care. And may he be healed along with all those who are in need. Blessed are You, Source of healing. Amen
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Hi Craig..just saying you stay positive because all of us are…
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Craig ,your whole family continue in our prayers. Prayers of strength, peace and hopefully a return to health! Pray every day for you and all the many of us that love you!
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Continued prayers for you and your family and anyone who assists in your surgery and recovery. We appreciate your heartfelt honesty. Stay strong.
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I’m with Craig! And everyone else, too!
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SENDING LOVE FROM NEW YORK
TO YOU CRAIG, STACI, & FAMILY
💗
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Praying for you and your whole family.
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Thanks for your update, Dr Craig. There is no way I can even one tenth begin to imagine all you’ve been thru, and all you are facing.
However, I am reminded of a story (from one of the Gospels) of a paralyzed man who was brought to Jesus for healing by 4 of his friends. They were carrying him between them on a stretcher; and finding the crowds too immense to get thru, they dug a hole in the roof of the house where Jesus was preaching and healing, and lowered him down to Jesus’ feet. Jesus, impressed with the faith of the man’s friends, attended to him at once.
Craig. I can tell from your latest blog that there’s an element of fear for this next surgery and it’s outcome. But… May I remind you that you are surrounded and supported by not only all of your family and friends of, but also by a whole multitude of us, many of whom you may not even know, who are fervently and earnestly praying for you, for your fam, and especially for the wisdom and skill of this new Doctor on your case. As the All State commercial says; “You’re in good hands”. So rest in God’s embracing grace … And be not afraid…He walks beside you all the way!
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You savef my best griend from medical torment with one of your diagnosis You are a good Doctor and it sounds like you are a good husband and father. That is what really counts as each of us adds up our life. The trampoline bouncing sounds good. All that running and swimming. Thank for sharing your blog. My family has had that fear and dread of recurring canver. It is hard to be brave for the kids but, you are letting them help you which is what they need to do. Hope you can rest and read and watch stupid movies and tv and come down to see the gorgeous sunsets over the lake. You your wife and family deserve all the beauty in the wkrld to comfort you.
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I have been following your blog since you started it. My mom was diagnosed with GBM three months before you and your sister was her oncologist. I vividly remember my mom’s appointment with her after your diagnosis and how emotional it was for all of us.
I am sorry to hear of your recurrence, but I can completely relate to the feelings of being shell-shocked and in mourning when you are told that no, that area of suspected necrosis isn’t necrosis, but is indeed tumor growth. That is the exact same way my mom’s recurrence was diagnosed. I will keep you in my prayers, as you face surgery again. Stay strong!
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Hi Craig,
Our family will be praying that you have a quick and uneventful recovery from next surgery. You’re such an inspiration to so many people- both with GBM and without. Your blog inspires all of us to live healthier lifestyle, love our families more, and have a better appreciation for all aspects of life we frequently take for granted.
Big hug Craig! Your army of supporters is behind you.
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Dear Craig- Ari and I have been thinking of you out here in San Fran and following your blog – you are a brilliant writer. Matt Tate did his research two bays over from me in the lab- I trust you are in very good hands and we look forward to reading the next blog post soon. If you ever do opt for UCSF we can put you up and point out all the Starbucks for miles around – Anna (and Ari) Molofsky
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You amaze me, Craig! Besides being an impressive doctor, you have a unique and entertaining way with words. You are brave, You are strong. I’m with you and your family. God’s blessings for a safe and successful surgery tomorrow! Godspeed your recovery! Continued prayers, hugs, and luv to you and your family…😘🙏💙
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I am thinking and praying for yiu
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The Troupes are with you!!!
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Will be thinking of you Monday
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We are thinking of you and your family and saying many prayers for a successful surgery tomorrow.
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You are a model for myself and others. Craig. Your positive energy and self care are difference makers for sure. The authenticity and openness of your sharing is beautiful. I offer my live and prayers to you and all those spring you from family and friends to care givers and support personnel. I look forward to joining you for one ood those local beers when you are well again. Love and blessings to you, brother!
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Craig, I believe with all my heart that this is not the last chapter in your blog. Just a bump in the tremulous road of uncertainty. One thing for certain though….you are well loved, you are prayed over by countless people that you alone have inspired with your realness, laughter, tears and determination. With all the magnitudes praying for you and your family, non of that even begins to compare to the constant and absolute love from our Lord God Almighty. He is indeed the great physician and my prayer is that He will continue to guide and guard you through this battle. Love to you and your precious family ❤️
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Prayers for you and all your family. Fight on Craig. I have faith in you and the one most powerful who can heal you.
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